1st Blog Post

Hey. It's probably pretty fuckin obvious to anybody with a functioning brain that my name is Keith. It's written everywhere on my website like how fucking morons scribble "[insert name] WAS HERE" all over each and every surface they can get their grubby little inbred fingers on. To be honest, I just didn't really know what to put on my home page right now. I know it's barren. Maybe I'll place my asshole paralell to the website and diahhrea spray GIFs all over it. Every site nowadays needs to give you motion sickness just looking at them. It's the trendy thing to do. It's like that one episode of Pokemon with the seizure Pikachu that everybody knows. My grandma before she died was genuinely convinced that that meant that every TV show would kill you immediately. I shit you not she was wearing a tinfoil hat when the paramedics came to get her body. To this day we still have no idea what the fuck was wrong with her. But anyway. I'm in my freshman year of high school and Jesus Christ. In case there's any stray 6 year olds that somehow find this web site, take my advice. Drop out NOW. There's no time to waste. Save yourself before you find yourself threatening to throw yourself off your Mom's garage because of the Pythogoras Theorem or however the fuck you spell it. I'm refusing to look it up because I hate him and want to go back in time to clobber his triangular skull in. Also I thought that kids getting shoved in lockers was a joke. I thought people made that up to be funny and it always confused me because its not a funny concept unless you make it funny. Fuck me. I've seen so many kids get shoved into lockers in my short time at high school. Who would have thunk it? Also, I've never seen so many stray pieces of gum in my life. I told my older sister about it and she brought up something called pointilism. Apparently its when you make a bunch of dots and it's supposed to look like a picture? I don't know. Sounds fake and gay and I don't really know how that relates to anything. It's like thinking that putting nipples on Batman's suit is a good idea. Look it up, that's real. Batman and Robin (the 1997 movie) is a spiritual experience only rivaled by smoking a brick of weed and fighting the Machine Elves. Holy shit I got offtrack. I need to clean up my act for later blog entries. Anyway I don't know how to end this so check out Pee-Wee Herman doing the Hadouken. -->