Self

I’ve been thinking a lot more recently. The phrasing makes me sound fucking stupid but I don’t know how to explain it other than that. Fuck off. But I’ve been thinking about everything and myself. I see myself and the me I was a little bit ago like different people. Sometimes I find myself wishing that I could puke up the black bile I was a couple of months ago and watch as it turns into a perfect clone of who I was then. I don’t know what I’d do then. Would I trap him in a box? Would I watch as his words filled up the subtitles for a TV I have in the background muted? Would I chase him through the woods with a shotgun? He’s naive like a deer. Would I actually hate him like I think I do? Maybe I’m thinking about all of this way too hard. I don’t really know what the difference between me and him even is. All I really know is that there’s SOMETHING. Something that the old me was missing.

Holy shit I got sidetracked. I wanted to talk about Noah. The situation with him has gotten tangentially more fucking insane. He talked about Mike. What the hell am I saying? It’s not Noah. It’s an impostor that’s wearing his skin and talking out of his ass. But how is it so accurate (I’m assuming?) to his life? It can’t just be bullshit, right? I don’t buy the theory that it’s his ghost or he faked his death for FUCKING OBVIOUS REASONS. That’s stupidJhhjkkdqpodi FUCKing okay i’m calm. god fucking dammir that theory makes me angry. Sorry. Uh But the guy running this must have some kind of beef with Mike. I can’t really tell if this is meant to smear his fucking name because it takes a lot of guts to accuse someone of murdering a small girl. The way he talks about her bothers me so fucking much. I don’t know why. I don’t know her.

People are starting to stop talking about the situation. They’re calling this bullshit and honestly I’m glad. The sooner this fucking nonsense stops the better. I don’t really know why I’m so mad over this. I need to calm down. I don't really care about people I don't know personally, so what the hell?