House

Things have generally been good. Let me just get that out of the way first and foremost. There’s just one thing that’s been hovering over my head like a shitty sword made entirely of barely concealed fiberglass. My mom. Since my dad got arrested and we haven’t seen him since, she’s just entirely shut down. She doesn’t act like a human being. She’s a fucking mole. Hiding in the shadows of her own house not leaving. She’s living off of unemployment checks and disability aid. I can’t really blame her, is the thing. She’s been sorta like this even before Dad left. I don’t even really know what Dad worked as, to be honest. Johnny did say that this house is some bougie private property. What the fuck? What was he doing before this?

I don’t have the mental capacity to fucking think about this. Anyway. Back to my original thought. My mom. I don’t know. It’s sort of like this house has been bending around her. The shadows seem deeper. None of the lights are ever on except for her room. Fuck, I don’t think I’ve seen her face at all recently. I’ve been going on grocery runs for the last few months and leaving her share at the door. Sometimes, I wonder what would happen if I just… didn’t. What would happen if I just didn’t give her her food? Would she come out then? I don’t want to do that.

The forest outside feels darker. It’s not just that the days are shorter. Since the New Year came around, the space around and inside this house just feels like it doesn’t want me in here. Like I’m a virus in the body of some large creature. Is this what Sandra felt before she left?

Is this why she didn’t look back once?